Understanding the impact

THE POTENTIAL IMPACT

“Understanding the impact, without blame or fear.” (Nearest Relative) 

Caring as a Nearest Relative can bring moments of deep responsibility and connection, but it also comes with challenges that can affect you emotionally and physically, and in other areas of your life. 

Nearest Relatives talked honestly about their experiences in a recent research project. They said that the role was strongly linked to the emotional bond they had with their relative. This could help them to be good advocates. However, it also could cause distress. Being a Nearest Relative impacted on their relationship in a range of ways. It brought up diverse feelings. There was often frustration with the mental health system, particularly with not having enough information or support.  

Nearest Relatives highlight the strain that can be put on their relationship with the person who is unwell. Nearest Relatives can understandably feel tension about being in the middle of a difficult system.  

Conflicts can arise, for example: 

• You might find it hard for their relative to be in a particular place but have limited options or choices about what to do; 
• You may need to complain but it can feel very uneasy to challenge at times because of concern about the impact on your relative; 
• You may not be able to be supportive of your relative’s wishes and struggle to be an advocate; 
• Staff in the mental health system may have processes or approaches that don’t take into account the specific relationships and bonds between the you and your relative.  

You might experience that you are not being listened to or are not able to make a difference. The response from professionals and from the mental health system can lead to you feeling doubt, confused or questioning what is going on. Where there is a particular lack of support or poor response, this can cause trauma and physical or emotional impact.  

For some Nearest Relatives, the role can disrupt work, finances, relationships, and time for rest or personal needs, especially if the person they’re supporting is far away or detained for a long time. 

One Nearest Relative in our project emphasised the problem of “hidden information.”  Often what you need to know to be a Nearest Relative is difficult to find, buried in lots of other information and inaccessible. It can be difficult to find out about your rights and how to exercise them.

YOUR UNIQUE EXPERIENCE

“You are the expert in your own experience.” (Nearest Relative) 

Click here to watch Debbie share experiences and advice about being a Nearest Relative.

Not everyone has the same access to support, or the same ability to talk openly about their situation. Culture and identity, experience, context, and the way the mental health system operates can make this harder. You are not alone in that. This website aims to support all Nearest Relatives, in all situations, without assumptions. 

Potential impacts are highlighted to validate, prepare, and empower Nearest Relatives with early insight into their own wellbeing. Being aware of these impacts isn’t a reflection of your capability, it’s a sign of your self-awareness. And you deserve support, too. 

These impacts are real, but they look different for everyone. Your culture, background, access to resources, and support systems all shape how you experience and carry this role. 

There is no right answer or path to being a Nearest Relative. It can help to notice signs, like exhaustion, isolation, resentment, or feeling invisible. These can simply be signals that you need more support, more rest, or space to be heard. 

As a Nearest Relative, your focus is often on others, sometimes so much so that you don’t notice how the role is affecting you. It’s common to realise only much later that you’ve been running on empty. 

You might hear advice about “prioritising your own health,” and while that’s important, we know it’s not always possible, especially when you’re constantly advocating, challenging systems, and just trying to get through the day. 

For some, it can feel unsafe or unfamiliar to stop and check in with how you’re feeling. For others, there are cultural or personal reasons why that kind of reflection is difficult, or just not a priority right now. And that’s okay. 

This isn’t about adding more to your to-do list. It’s about gently noticing when something doesn’t feel right in you, without blame. Even a moment of curiosity about how you’re really doing can make a difference over time. 

If it takes weeks, months, or years to realise how the role has impacted you, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’ve been surviving in the ways you’ve known how. 

You deserve support, patience, and compassion, not pressure.